Seriously, What is Wrong with People
September 26, 2006
To: San Francisco drivers from the City of San Francisco
As it is now officially rush hour it is important that you immediately cease the following activities:
1. Using your turn signals
2. Driving at an acceptable rate of speed
3. Refusing to run over pedestrians
4. Stop being patient-Swerve recklessly and dodge other cars by mere inches
5. Coming to a full stop at all stop signs-just coast through ‘em. They’ll jump out of your way.
For the next 45 minutes, it is preferred that you:
1. Accelerate and then brake hard in the 700 feet between traffic signals
2. Yell, curse and gesture offensively
3. Throw your hands up in the air in an energetic display of exasperation—because we know YOU are special and have to get somewhere REALLY important in a hurry unlike everyone else.
On my way to pick up bok choy I barely avoided getting hit by three cars about a mile from my house. Apparently I did not get the memo. While shopping for more of the loathed vegetables, I heard a woman talking to a young man on crutches. He was hit by a car a few days ago right across the street. What is wrong with you people?!?! Just freakin slow down and relax. The world won’t end if you aren’t home to watch Seinfeld reruns. I promise. I swear to you. In fact it can only help the world if you don’t watch Seinfeld.
Ok, now that I’m done ranting…It is official. I am burned out on bok choy. I ate it religiously for weeks and now I’m done. I cannot even look at bok choy. Just wanted to comment on that.
Today, the second day of atonement for my sinful weekend, I ate granola and yogurt for breakfast. This was followed by a teeny, tiny “burrito” and a banana. I kid you not, the burrito was about the size of a spring roll. I measured it and dude, it’s like 5 inches long.Aaaannnnyyyyhow. It tasted just fine, there just needed to be more of it. Something I have noticed about JC food is that the breakfasts are big enough for me (there is some sort of sandwich or cereal, yogurt, and fruit), the dinners are pretty well sized but the lunches leave much to be desired. Often, they don’t have many entrees that are appealing and they are pretty small. The times JC food has not agreed with me have all been with the lunch food. I have a particularly heinous reaction to the chicken salad, which is pretty depressing since it tastes ok. Don’t look at it because it closely resembles cat food, just eat it. Unless you are me and have some weird acid reflux/intestinal combo disruption happening. Sadly, I shall never ingest Jenny Craig chicken salad again.
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