Just A Little Agony

Submitted by L_ANSARI on Fri, 10/13/2006 - 7:05pm.

Day 71
October 9, 2006

I blame a four day migraine for my absence on the page this week. And of course for breaking my Jenny Craig diet. Just last week I was loudly professing my low weight of, what was it, 130 pounds? I danced, I sang, I bought new work out clothes. THE kiss of death. It is akin to tattooing your lovers name on your arm. Disaster is certain to follow. But I am already predisposed to be superstitious this way.

The migraine hit with less of a bang and more of a slow torturous building of pressure. It grew and spread to new areas of my brain. I wore the obligatory dark sunglasses, which made me look ever so “after school special.” You know the ones: "When Daddy Beats Up Mommy" or "It’s Not Ok To Hit." I’m sure my super dark shades and my less than forthcoming attitude led people to ponder if I had an abusive boyfriend. I tried taking Advil, Bayer and Tylenol by the handful. Safe. Since I had run out of migraine medicine eons ago, I concocted my own special blend of aspirin, acetaminophen, caffeine, and anti-inflammatory drugs, that I like to call, “stop the pain or die trying”. My friends find this horrifying and yes, yes, I have been chastised vehemently and been pelted with names of very competent neurologists.

Migraine pain is its own special kind of hell and cluster migraines (which go on for 3,4 and 5 days like I have) bring new meaning and appeal to the words “bang your head into a rock.” I have never felt more like literally bludgeoning myself than I do after a few days of relentless pain in my brain. With thoughts of bludgeoning and an inability to move from my bed, Jenny Craig food and I were not, as they say, simpatico. I pretty much wanted to throw up at the thought of anything that wasn’t chocolate, fried, or cake. I’m relatively certain none of that is allowed on JC. I weighed myself this morning and I have gained two pounds. So wrong. I’m sure part of the reason for the weight gain was my inactivity. I usually work out five times a week and I could hardly move around this week, let alone exercise.

I am frustrated by the repeated interruptions to my diet and exercise routine. If I’m not sick I have a migraine. If I don’t have a migraine, I’m sick. I have about three good weeks in between headaches and illnesses. I don’t know if this is normal or not but it feels like I am starting over again and again.