October 12, 2006
Day 74

I just read a blog about a child’s birthday party from hell and it made me want to run outside and kiss the lefty-super liberal, weirdo lovin, artsy, “I’m an engineer and a trapeze artist” San Francisco ground I live on (and in). God, people live in weird states! The horrible birthday party experience reminded me that I have not blogged about my child’s very first external birthday party experience. It was also Mommy’s first children’s birthday party and potluck o’ tasty fattening foods. I can blame only part of my willpower on the fact that I was so nervous I was literally shaking. The rest of my willpower came from chasing Noah around trying to get him to play nice with other kids. So, I guess it kinda wasn’t willpower at all. But there was a lot of food around and a cake and I abstained! Ok, more truthfully, I held back a bit! I only had 2 chips and a bite of the birthday boy’s cake because Noah didn’t want it. He doesn’t like sugar. I know, he’s not my child. I think someone pulled the old switcheroo in the hospital. Personally, I like to pour sugar directly from the bag into my mouth. How could he not get that from me?? I am currently involved with a very cute man who pours M & M’s directly from the bag into his mouth. I’m talking about the jumbo bag. You think some of that would have rubbed off on Noah.

I was thrilled to see a bouncy thing (not sure what people call it these days) at the party and was sure Noah would spend lots of time exhausting himself in it while I hung out with parents and got to know the moms and dads from Noah’s school.

Important facts to remember:
I do not know anyone with children in SF.
Noah just started preschool a few weeks ago.
I have not met one single person from Noah’s school.

Basically, it feels like I am in school again, meeting people, figuring out cliques, and terrified that my “alternative” lifestyle won’t freak people out. I’m a divorced, single, relatively funky mom, my ex lives a few blocks away, my new partner is moving here in a month. It’s a bit confusing and I didn’t want to have to explain it to what I imagined would be a group of married, fully intact and happy functioning families. The first thing I noticed was that with all the chaos, it didn’t matter who was an intact family and who wasn’t. No one would be able to notice and I didn’t get the feeling anyone would care. I saw lots of so called “alternative” people there and I felt so comfortable you wouldn’t believe it. People were just people-not Stepford. I breathed a huge sigh of relief. Hopefully, they would understand Noah and me. The second thing I noticed was that everyone was so busy chasing their kids around, they didn’t notice (well, they noticed a little) me chasing Noah as he would bolt for the street. He did this because he thought it was funny to make me chase after him. ….yes, ha…ha…ha. At least I got some exercise. Noah spent a good 20 minutes chasing pigeons with a stick. I had to intervene there too. Why is my child a pigeon chaser????? Can’t he just jump in the bouncy corral like every other 3 and 4 year old? Must he be so intent on killing and maiming animals? If I weren’t so tired, I’d be worried. But to focus on the silver lining of that day, I did not succumb to the temptations of non-JC foods.

Moving on. I want to share some thoughts I have had this week about vegetables.

Observations about vegetables:
1. No amount of vegetable matter can fill me up. A bucket of squash is not equal to a bucket of pie. There will always be an empty hole that no pail of greens can ever fill.
2. Pickles are useful little things. I can eat 10 pickles if I am starving and want to reach for bread or cookies.
3. I hate peppers. Green peppers to be exact. I have tried to reach a truce. They’ve been stir fried and baked. Alas, I still find them disgusting and anything they are inside of or touching is forever tainted.
4. It is alarming the amount of cauliflower a person can ingest in one sitting.
5. It doesn’t matter what it is, if you can fry it, you can eat it. I have bought vegetables I can’t even recognize because I have been so sick of the same broccoli, squash, carrot, and cauliflower repertoire. I’m pretty sure I ate a floral display last night by accident.
6. This one is less about veggies and more of a verbal fist shaking to grocery stores in my area. It is cruel to place the SWEET THINGS bakery right next to the fruit and vegetable aisle. I cannot avoid seeing it no matter how hard I try and the cute little pumpkin shaped cupcakes make me want to drool and then cry.

No rhyme or reason to this, I’m just so conscious of food all the time that I felt I needed to share some of my musings.