December 30, 2006
Day 151

I finally made it to Jenny Craig this week to have my weekly weigh in which I have missed for almost a month. I was not happy (but not surprised) to learn I gained three pounds. The holidays are hell. Not only that but I had all my family and my fiancé at home for Christmas. The math is as follows:

My Mother (lots of cheese and breads) +
My Sister (Chinese food) +
My Father (nervous eater of lunchmeats and lattes) +
Fiancé and three year old son (Mac and cheese, chocolate and lots of cookies)
= diet failure of extraordinary proportions for me

I did try but I am not to be trusted around tasty food. I know this is a lame excuse. Don't you think I realize this? Nevertheless, I succumbed as I usually do and I feel bad. I have kept up with my workouts. The problem is that working out and eating crap doesn't work. They don't cancel each other out as I was so hoping they would. All that happened was I felt my exercise clothes and my underwear to be a bit tighter.
One bright spot was my counselor, who normally has the warmth of a drill sergeant, but was forgiving of my weight gain on Friday. She shrugged when she looked at the scale and said "New year, new start."

I have been trying to figure out why my will power seems to have shattered beyond repair. I mean, I have lived in a house with a lot of treats before and not been so tempted. All I can come up with is that I am just a lot happier than I have been in years and that translates to "let's eat and enjoy life" in my book. I am definitely more satisfied with my weight at 130 but I don't know how I can maintain it. I can't fit in more exercise than I am doing right now. As it is, I am at the gym 5 days a week for almost an hour and 45 minutes. If anything, this number will go down in the future, so eating right is crucial.

My weakest moment is definitely at night. I tend to stay up until 2am or 3am doing God knows what that I couldn't do during the day with my son around. So after school, doctors’ appointments, classes, etc, I try to get some things done and end up hungry late at night, craving carbs and sugar. A typical snack would be crackers and peanut butter and a handful of semi sweet chocolate chips. Even if it feels like I am just snacking a little bit, I am sure I'm eating more calories than I think because, hey, the scale doesn't lie. I need to get the night eating under control. Let the Diet Channel be my witness, I am going to go to bed no later than 11:30pm every night to avoid snacking! Of course, as I write this it is already almost midnight...ok, tomorrow night!