January 3, 2007
Day 155

I feel like I have posted something along these lines before. In fact, I'm pretty sure I have a few times. But the effect is so impressive to me that I have to reiterate that nothing motivates like frustration and anxiety. Positive energy works too, but most of the time I am dealing with a lot of pent up stress when I go to the gym and I notice the effect on my workout. Now I have heard others talk about how it really doesn't help all that much to workout when you are stressed and that some research study somewhere proved that stress levels remained high after a workout when under duress. That said, I have an unlimited amount of energy in the gym when I am under pressure of some sort.

I keep track of my treadmill and weight machine activity in a little informal log in my organizer and my speed and levels go way up. I do straight leg lifts on "the chair." Usually I can only do 30, today I did 40 and could have kept going but someone was waiting to use it. Usually, I am struggling to walk at a speed of 3.8 or 3.9 with a grade level of 3.0. But in cases such as today when I am very frustrated, I found myself easily walking 3.9 at a level of 4.0 without even breathing hard for an hour. I was itching to run. I felt like I might sprint off the treadmill and run out the door!

Here is a secret I will share with the Dietchannel community. I am afraid to run on the treadmill in front of other people. I realize I have gotten over the naked/locker room thing and even using the gym at all thing, but I can't seem to conquer this strange fear of looking stupid running on a treadmill. I know how I run outdoors and I cannot keep a running pace, even a slow one, for very long. With all those runners stomping around me I feel intimidated to start and stop again and again while I am building stamina. Why am I like this! Seriously, it is something I have never been able to get over and I need to because not only am I not increasing my cardio stamina but I can’t spend hours in the gym everyday! I have to complete my workouts sooner. Ok, since I haven’t made any true resolutions yet this year, this will be the first. I will conquer my fear of running and panting in front of other more fit people.