Nov 30
Day 121

Today is off to an unfortunate start. I weighed myself after a week of promising I wouldn’t (it wasn’t too bad-up 1 pound) and then proceeded to eat the JC breakfast in addition to a handful of soda crackers and Apple Jacks. It’s like I couldn’t stop myself! I was so ravenous for sugar and salt. There wasn’t any reason for it either. Just out of the blue the hunger came. Also, it is pretty hard to avoid sugary cereal if it is sitting right in front of you when you open the cabinet. I may have to find another place for some of the tasty treats my partner likes so that I am not inundated every time I walk into the kitchen!

Day 120
Nov. 28th

You know, there are some days (or some weeks) when it is just too exhausting to do anything but eat, sleep some and run around like crazy after your kid. I am having such a week. I am actually having a hard time remembering what it is that is keeping me so busy! It seems like there is never enough time. Since my fiancé moved in, it has been a nonstop flurry of activity. Unpacking boxes, getting furniture, organizing and living life with my three year old has taken up much of our lives. We have been going to bed at 2am almost every night. Ok, last night it was 3am. The point is that there has been little room for exercise and my diet has suffered as well.

Day 115
Nov. 22

I did it! I finally joined the rest of the world and got naked in the gym! Alright maybe the rest of the world doesn’t get naked in the locker room but it feels like they do and let me tell you, I felt like a total dork being embarrassed and hiding in the changing room. I’m not sure how it happened. Either I was distracted with a million things going through my head or the changing booths were full or it was a combination of both, but I just took a deep breath and stripped in front of my locker. Now, I’m not saying I dance around or anything but I did get the job done. I took off clothes, I stood naked for five seconds while I frantically searched for clean socks and underwear, I tried to keep myself from wondering who was looking at me, and I put on new clothes. Case closed. End of story. Not the most exciting moment ever but I was a little proud of myself. I am hung up on my own nudity and hate being naked around anyone. But today I had just had enough. It was a bold move for me-not pole dancing bold-but gutsy nonetheless. Just wanted to share.

Day 114
Nov. 21

It isn’t even thanksgiving yet and I am already eating way outside my diet. I was weighed last week and very happy to report that I evened out at 130.5. With the exercise 5 times a week and the JC diet, I have a body I am pretty happy with. It isn’t super toned or super skinny but I don’t look in the mirror at the gym and wince. I feel fit and trim. That’s all well and good but I am having serious problems merging my diet with my fiancé’s eating habits. He moved in last Wednesday and I immediately saw lack of willpower in my future. We went grocery shopping and he bought what he usually buys and it isn’t exactly diet food. Let’s just say there are two kinds of chips, five different flavors of ice cream, and four different candy bars in the house right now. I held out about one day…maybe half a day. Then I succumbed. First it started with crackers and peanut butter. I think I was trying to convince myself that I wasn’t eating poorly if I was eating my own version of snack food and not candy/chips. Sadly, I tested the hypothesis by eating ten or twelve crackers and PB sandwiches, getting a really bad stomachache and going to bed. I woke up swollen and weighing a little more-theory disproved. You cannot eat like that and get away with it! Anyhow, the next day I indulged in Fiancé’s special Mac and cheese (with a pound of extra cheese) after eating my JC meal. Not good. Went to bed with a stomachache again. Tonight, while talking about heavy issues, I got nervous and ate some of the Almond Joy and Reese’s cup candy lying around. UGH. I have had a few conversations with him about hiding the candy or not letting me have it. Apparently I am a master of seduction because he says he can’t deny me when I have that cute look on my face and say I want a snack. I can’t blame him. He loses either way. I get mad if he gives in and I get mad if he “supports” me and tries to keep it away from me. I have been working out but there is only so much exercise can do. I need a plan!! What do I do?

Day 108
November 15, 2006

I have been thinking about how this diet compares to other diets I have been on in the past (and I have been on a lot of them). The most common ones when I was younger tended to all have the same theme-restriction. I tried to live on diet shakes or just ate 500 calories a day. I could keep that up for awhile but not forever. Of course I gained weight back and let’s face it, I was much younger so I must work harder now to lose weight and look firm. I took for granted the firm thing when I was younger!

Atkin’s was the only diet that I have been on recently where I saw dramatic weight loss results. The first time I tried it I lost five pounds really quickly. I thought it was a dream come true. The nutritional equivalent of a winning lottery ticket. You get to eat good stuff and all you want? Sure! I have never been much of a fruit person and my IBS makes raw vegetables and certain sauces difficult on my digestive system. I could just eat meat, fish and cheese and be fine! Unfortunately, I came crashing down to earth. I don’ t know about other people who have been on Atkin’s but I sure noticed that a diet with a lot of cheese does not help you lose weight. It just didn’t for me. The only way to lose more than a few pounds for me was to cut out cheese. That seemed prove a point. Because it meant not only did Atkin’s not really work all that well for me in the weight loss department and may not really be a good diet plan; but also, hell, if I couldn’t eat cheese what’s the appeal of Atkin’s?

November 14, 2006
Day 107

Nothing helps a diet along like a case of bronchitis. I have been coughing so much it is ridiculous. It feels like the good old days when women wasted away from “consumption” (TB). I’m almost used to it now as if it is a permanent state of being. There is an upside to this. Only I would think of an upside to Bronchitis! I haven’t been so hungry. I think it is due to the cough drops, cough syrup, antibiotics and decongestant pills that I am consuming every four hours or so. Kinda fills you up!

As I look back on all my entries I see a pattern of illness. Am I really sick that much?! Jeez! It’s a wonder I haven’t lost more weight. Either way, I have been happy to see that JC food has consistently been appealing even when I’m not feeling so well. The vegetables and salad combos, not so much. But Lasagna, soups, and turkey dinners have a comfort food thing going for them. Even when I am not feeling under the weather, I tend to stick to the same comfort foods (or at least they are comforting to me). I prefer the frozen entrees. They seem to be tastier than the dry goods. My favorites so far are the turkey and mashed potatoes, potstickers, any Italian entrée and the fajitas. My only complaint is that there needs to be more variety; something Nestle is promising now that they have taken over JC. The one new item I tried so far is the cashew chicken and it was HORRIBLE. I can’t even explain how bad. I remain hopeful for the other new entrees.

November 10, 2006
Day 103

There’s nothing like extreme stress and deadlines to keep you moving and forgetting about food completely. Yesterday was a momentous day, and the week leading up to said day has been nonstop work. I finally defended my dissertation and am done with my Ph.D program! It has been constant edits and adding last minute tables and graphs for day now. I woke up this morning and though, “now what?” I have spent so much of the last year and a half spending any extra time I had on my dissertation, that now I don’t know what to do when my son is with his father. I gotta go out and meet more friends!

November 6, 2006
Day 99

I cannot believe I have been on this diet for 99 days!
It’s seems crazy to me and really freakin long.

Ok, I have a lot to say about the Jenny Craig holiday tip sheets that I lost last week. Later today I am going to pick up my food from JC and I will grab more tip sheets so I can write about some of the HILARIOUS “tips” they give. Maybe it is just funny to me. But honestly, some of the suggestions for the holidays seem pretty difficult to pull off. Again, maybe it just seems hard to me because I am not committed enough or parts of my life clash with the whole “change of lifestyle” thing that I am trying to implement. Actually, it is probably a bit of both.

Oct 31, 2006
Day 93

I have come to the conclusion that Halloween is a cruel joke on grown-ups.

First, let me say that I love the holiday. It is by far my favorite of the year. Unfortunately Jenny Craig does not have “free days” to allow for these miscarriages of justice. And as everyone knows, Halloween is just the first act in a long seasonal performance. After Halloween, you’ve got Thanksgiving and then all the Christmas events through the month of December. By the time you reach New Year’s, there have been close to two months of festivities fraught with fatty foods. Excuse the alliteration; I’m already lapsing into prose before the yuletide is upon us. I almost ended with “a partridge in a pear tree.”

Oct 29
Day 91

Yesterday, at my weigh in I learned that Jenny Craig was being purchased by Nestle. After I finished laughing I discussed the possible ramifications of this with my substitute JC counselor. She excitedly told me all about the new entrees they would carry once the take-over was complete. I believe this will happen around January or February. I think the company is doing a complete overhaul of the program. The fact that stuck with me is that they are bringing 30+ new items to the menu. Now that I can get excited about! One new item has already hit the freezer in my branch-the cashew chicken. I bought it and can’t wait to try it.